yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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