I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
