I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
