whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
