No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Randomize
