Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
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