i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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