I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
