please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Randomize
