Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
