Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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