Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
