He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
