How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Randomize
