not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
