Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Randomize
