READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
