a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
