you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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