I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
