Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Found your dick twin last night
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize