just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
