I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
