maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
