evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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