Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
please don't ironically join a cult
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