Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
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