we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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