Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
