found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
