ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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