it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
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