Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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