I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
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