So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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