I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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