I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
