So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
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