I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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