Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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