What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
I wish I only lived at night.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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