The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
