sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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