Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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