were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
No subtext here. People are naked.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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