i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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