I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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