Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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