Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
