I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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