I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
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