dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
