I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
