you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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