He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
