I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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