My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
