Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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