ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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