so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
