cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
