My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
that's an acceptable place to lick
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
