Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
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