I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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