so explain again why im purple
no
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Randomize
