I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
