I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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