i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize