Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
you traded sex for a burrito?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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