Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
you will always have a special place in my vag
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
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