I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize
